takeupserpents:

alrightevans:

Ok but a Keeping Up With The Kardashians style reality tv show about the Black family???? It would be called ‘Toujours Pur’ and it would be INCREDIBLE like Walburga would be draped across some expensive furniture sobbing and screaming about how her son is a disappointment and a traitor and about how she has done nothing but love him, and how could he do this to her???? does he not care about her nerves??? pausing occasionally to sip red wine with an anguished expression on her face, and then it would cut to Sirius talking to the camera like ‘All I said was that muggles aren’t all that bad’ 

Or they would all be in the dining room eating dinner and Walburga and Sirius are having a screaming row over the fact Sirius had snuck out to see James last night and Sirius would turn to Regulus and point at him dramatically and be like ‘This is all your fault, you just had to go running to mummy and tell on me didn’t you?’ and then it would cut to Regulus talking to the camera like ‘He bribed me to tell on him. Arguing with our mother is one of Sirius’s top three favourite pass times’ and just oh my goD this entire family would be tv gold pls give it to me

And finally Walburga finishes her rant with a sigh of, “And now Bella’s joined a cult, and we’re all terribly worried.”

“I’m not worried,” Sirius confesses, privately. “Not at all. I mean, it’d be dreadful if Bellatrix died, I suppose, but we do have two more where she came from, so. It’s mostly fine? It’s almost ideal. I’m actually, like, rather bored, and my– and James has just got a new car, and that’s really taking up a lot of my attention? So.” 

When they ask him about it, Regulus rolls his eyes, explains, “Sirius is, like, in love with James, or something, and he doesn’t even pretend otherwise, it’s as if he wants to be disinherited.”

Off camera, someone asks, “Would that upset you?”

“Um?” Regulus laughs. “I don’t. I don’t think I understand the question?”